Interview with the Phantom Foodie

Special R Lobster
interviewed by Anon Ymous


Good morning Mr. Lobster

Please, call me Special

Is that your real name, Special R. Lobster?


That seems like a funny name for a lobster.

(laughs) Well, I suppose.

Is there a story behind it?

Well yah, when I was born I was a pretty large baby lobster and my color was a little on the blue side. My Mom thought I was going to turn out to be one of those giant blue lobsters you only hear about in legends. So she named me Special. In the end when I did grow up I got cooked. Now my friends just call me Big Red.

So that’s how you got that handle. Why did you decide to become the Phantom Foodie?

Well, I guess it was something I needed to do. I like to eat good food. In fact I’m a pretty good cook. So when I go out to eat I really care about the experience. I care what the food tastes like and how it looks. Maybe more than most lobsters. For me dining out is all about the meal. I’m not the kind that cares too much about getting all dressed up and putting on clothes and shoes that I never wear and don’t really suit my personality. I like to wear a clean pair of blue jeans everyday and I like to look presentable, but I don’t need to change my appearance to go out for a nice meal. So when I go out on a special occasion to have a meal cooked for me. I expect that to be a really nice time. And the food to be really good. For some people dropping a hundred bucks on a meal with a few Glasses of wine and dessert would be a drop in the bucket. For me that’s a good chunk of change and I don’t want to waste that money on food that doesn’t look and taste good.

See, food can look really good, but it’s like no one in the kitchen even tastes the food. They serve the dish night after night they garnish the plate lovingly,  but they have no idea that the meat has no flavor or the vegetables are completely rubber. As the Phantom I can share with others when I find a really acceptable meal, a consistently good experience. I think folks will want to know about that.

I think you’re right. But will you also share the bad experiences?

Well, I’m going to try and keep it positive. I vow not to come down on an establishment without at least giving them another chance to get it right. If I do write a bad review I  will try to be fair and honest about my experience.

Do you get paid to be the Phantom Foodie?

No, a lobster doesn’t really have any use for extra money. But it is a good hobby for me. I like to shop and collect things. As the Phantom Foodie I can occupy my free time testing food and visiting coffee & tea houses. This gives me a collection of experiences that doesn’t take up space in my cupboards. The blog is the most logical thing to do and that’s write about my dining experiences so everyone can benefit from them.

You're a bit of a food photographer. What's it like taking pictures of food?

Food photography is the only time in which food needs to look really good but doesn't really have to taste good. I like to pride myself on the fact that all the photographs of food that I take depict food that actually tasted really good too. It's a trick with food to set up the photo and finish the styling before the food gets cold or the texture becomes bad. We do eat well around my house when the food and the cameras are in sync.

Thank you for speaking with us today, Big Red.

Thanks for having me, Anon.

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